Amusement
by Peggi J. Crawford
Summary: Seiya has made a bet that he probably won't win, but luckily he has people who are willing to help. . .kind of. Contains OCs, people who know everything, Shun plotting, and slight character bashing. R&R. One-Shot


**The infamous Peggi J. Crawford does not own Saint Seiya, does not own Jeffree Star, and definitely does not own this fanfic. No, wait, that's one of the few things she does own. So yeah. She just owns this.**

"So, what else does your cousin like?" Seiya gave Eevee puppy dog eyes.

Eevee felt her left eye twitch. For about three days now Seiya had been asking her for advice to impress her older cousin, but felt as if she'd missed something. Seiya had never shown any interest in Peggi before now, and she knew that no matter what Seiya did, he would never win her cousin's heart, as the key to its lock had already been given to Shun.

"She likes . . . emo boys," Eevee suggested, cringing at the thought of Seiya trying to look emo.

"Kay, thanks!" Seiya rushed off and Eevee feared for what would be next.

He had already tried playing guitar, singing Hannah Montana songs, making her super-sugared coffee first thing when she woke up, and now emo Seiya? Finally, Eevee decided that she must have the knowledge shared.

"Okay kiddo, share the wealth," Eevee didn't bother knocking before entering Harmony's room, "what's up with Seiya?"

Harmony looked up from what she was doing. She had one of the Living Dead Dolls and was brushing its hair. Harmony may be a little creepy, but Harmony knew _everything_.

"You mean why is Seiya pestering all of us for ways to impress your gorgeous yet unattainable cousin?"

_**Nod – nod**_

"Well, Seiya has been borrowing money from Saori for quite some time now. He can't pay her back and went to her to ask if he could work it off. She made a deal with him. If he could amuse Peggi, make her smile, make her laugh, just _something_, then she would just forget about what he owed her, and if he didn't, he had to pay her back double."

"Baka."

"Exactly. He'll never make her smile or be happy. She hates him to much for that. Although he did seem extra happy with whatever his latest idea was."

"Emo."

"Say no more," Harmony pointed to the door, asking Eevee to leave.

Eevee knew the drill, she walked out closing the door but didn't walk away, she loved this part. From inside the room she heard the much younger girl burst into laughter. Harmony, for whatever reason, didn't like people to hear or see her laughing hysterically. This was one of those times.

Later that evening, everyone was meeting up for dinner. Everyone except Seiya was seated at the table already eating. No one ever waited for Seiya anymore. Hyoga was just about to tell everyone a joke or funny story, when Seiya-or what appeared to be Seiya- entered the room. Peggi's hands went straight atop her mouth.

All eyes were on Seiya, and Saori, for reasons unknown to everyone but Harmony and Eevee, walked out of the room quickly with her face red and almost in tears from holding back laughter.

Seiya had dyed his once brown hair black, had it straightened and completely covering one side of his face, the side that you could see was packed heavy with eyeliner and eye shadow, he was wearing tight black clothes and had his nails painted black. To top it off, the saint had put on a leather belt and spiked jewelry.

"That had _better_ not be my mascara or I'm totally going to have a bitch fit!" Lizard Misty warned.

"So, am I totally hot, or what?" Seiya even did a little twirl, nearly falling over from what appeared to be combat boots.

"Should I begin with the part where you overdid your eyeliner," Shiryu looked him up and down, "or the part where you are _only_ supposed to paint your _nail_ when you paint your nails?"

"You don't know anything about being emo anyway," Seiya snapped at him, "so Peggi what do you think?"

Peggi finally removed her hands from her mouth, "I thought after Hyoga went all emo and stuff, that we'd had a discussion about this, and the _only_ people in this room allowed to be emo are me, Resa and sometimes Harmony. And Shun if he feels like foreplay."

Ikki made a growling noise that sounded much like mumbling of obscenities.

"So, you don't like?" Seiya pouted.

"You look like a clown. A _gay_ clown. On PCP. A gay clown on PCP with too much nail polish on," Seiya stormed off before Hyoga could add to the insult.

Once the gay clown on PCP with too much nail polish walked off, everyone returned to their normal conversations as if nothing had happened. All but Peggi, that is.

"Eev," she sighed, "is it just me, or has Seiya been acting REALLY weird lately?"

"It's not just you, Peg."

"Do I even want to know?"

"Not really."

Several hours later, Resa heard a knock on her bedroom door.

"Unless you have mint thin girl scout cookies or ramen, you might as well save me the trouble and stab yourself in the gut with a long knife."

No one she cared for would knock first, only people who feared her, so obviously it wasn't someone she liked at the door.

"Uh, here," Seiya handed her ramen.

"Prepared?" Resa was honestly shocked.

"Can I borrow a dress?"

Resa blinked once. Twice. Her eye twitched once. Twice. Then more blinking.

"What in Ra's name makes you think that I of _all_ people would have a filthy stinkin dress, and if I did, what makes you think that of _all _people I would let you borrow it?! Have you gone completely insane?!"

"So . . . I guess that's a no?"

He darted out and closed the door just before the glass lamp hit it. Forget asking for help, he was on his own now. He'd been taking advice from everyone else, but the one rational person there!

"Hi Shiryu," Seiya held his hand over his eyes as he walked in.

"She's not in here, you can uncover your eyes."

Seiya did so but looked around, almost expecting to see Eevee in there, "Shiryu, if you wanted to impress someone, what would you do to do it?"

"When I want to impress Eevee, I compliment her on the little things. If she's wearing a new shirt that she's never worn I tell her she looks beautiful in it. She already knows this, but it is nice for her to hear. She also loves it when I notice a new perfume or body spray. I tell her that she smells amazing and ask what she's wearing. I just do things I know she likes at random times. But I'm not sure how this is going to help you with Peggi, and I'm not even sure why you need help with Peggi. You barely can stand her!"

Before he had time to finish, Seiya took off. Peggi was just walking in from outdoors. She was wearing an old beat up shirt so that wouldn't work, he'd try the perfume thing.

"Wow, Peggi you smell amazing what perfume are you wearing?"

"Creep. I just got done playing football with Hyoga. I'm _wearing_ dirt and sweat. Glad to know you like it so much. Freak."

Seiya twitched. One last plan. If this failed, he didn't know what he'd do.

Peggi was getting sleepy, she looked up at the clock and realized it was almost 5am. Most of the people in the mansion would be waking up soon, and Shun was probably waiting up for her. She was about to go to bed when a figure came up from behind her. She spun around and saw Seiya holding a plate with something on it. She turned on the light.

Seiya was covered in flour and was holding a plate of cookies out for her.

That was the last straw, "What is up with you Seiya?! For the last few days you've been acting like a total creep! Dressing emo, stupid jokes, poorly imitating Hannah Montana songs, I just don't get it!"

Seiya sighed, "okay, I already know that I won't win, so here's the deal. I owe Saori a _lot_ of money, so we made a bet. If I can impress or amuse you then she'll wipe away the debt but if I can't, I owe her twice as much."

Peggi thought about this for a few moments. She could help Seiya and make Saori mad, or she could forget it and make Seiya mad. This was a tough choice. They both irritated her, so she would have to carefully consider her options. Suddenly, she had an idea.

"Okay, I'll help you out. Now, you've done some extreme stuff, so you have to really work on this one," she only smirked evilly on the inside, "but, since I'm helping you and you aren't coming up with this way to impress me on your own, you have to do something for _me_."

The next day, no one saw Seiya at all from the time they woke up until dinner. Some of the saints were getting a bit worried, but then again maybe he'd decided to stay away after embarrassing himself the day before. Anyone with thought number two, was instantly in shock at the newest and even more embarrassing plot.

Seiya emerged from the kitchen wearing ankle-high black zip-up boots, ripped up girl's jeans under which you could clearly see fishnet stockings, a hot pink tank top, a blue leather jacket and carrying a Lois Vitton purse. If that by itself wasn't enough, Seiya now had hot pink hair and probably 50 times more makeup than the day before.

Saori's jaw dropped at how far he'd gone this time, "Seiya what are you _thinking_?!"

"I'm thinking I'm so fierce! Cuz I'm Jeffree Star, bitch!"

Peggi squealed and ran up and tackled Seiya to the floor in a big hug. Everyone else in the room still couldn't find any words to express what they had just seen.

"Pretty _impressive_?" Seiya asked, emphasizing on the word 'impressive'.

"Oh, very! I love this outfit on you! The emo thing was creepy but I can't resist the Jeffree Star look!" Peggi squealed again.

Shun normally would've felt a little defensive at this point, and Eevee had almost seen an intervention in need, but for some reason, he sat there quietly, munching on a piece of garlic toast.

Saori fumed, angry that she'd lost a bet she was sure she had won before it even started, and walked off. Peggi got off of Seiya and took her place at the table next to Shun while Seiya began to slink off so he could find a place to change in peace. Everyone just stared at the doorway where Seiya had emerged, all but Eevee, Peggi, Shun and Harmony.

"I missed something again, didn't I?" Eevee sighed finally.

"Yep," Harmony knew everything, which was frustrating for people who wanted to know everything but didn't, "you missed a lot. Peggi decided to help Seiya out with that bet."

"And Shun, you knew she was only faking it?"

"Oh, of course I did! I even helped him get hold of the makeup!"

Shiryu began to snicker, "I am judging, by Saori's reaction, she was the one who _lost_ the bet?"

Peggi nodded.

"Tough choice, you don't like either of them. Why did you decide to help Seiya?" Eevee asked, sipping her tea.

"Easy," Peggi shrugged, "I figured out a way to make them both suffer."

Eevee blinked, once again knowing she'd missed something important.

"You know that trip that Misty and Aphrodite had to make about 45 minutes ago?" Shun asked, getting a nod in reply, "they'll be home soon. It'll take Seiya at least 20 minutes to get all of that makeup off. Do you know _why_ they had to make a _very_ special trip to the store this late in the day?"

Suddenly the wheels turned, and Eevee realized that if they walked in while Seiya was removing the makeup that apparently _Shun_ had stolen for him and saw him, he'd be pummeled, and to top it off, Saori had lost the bet. They both lost in a way.

Not five seconds later did the door open and two very unhappy, makeup-less saints come walking in, both carrying bags and both looking rather angry. They looked at the table and noticed that only one person was missing.

"SEIYA!" they both yelled, knowing that if none of the people at the table were covered from head to toe in their precious makeup, it had to be the one who was missing.

Later that evening, Eevee walked into Harmony's room once more, this time Harmony was ripping the head off of one of her dolls.

"What's the matter, Harm?" Eevee asked.

"It needed to be punished. It didn't obey."

Eevee blinked, once. Twice. Wasn't worth questioning. Whatever the doll had done, Harmony _must_ know best.

"So, I hear Seiya has a black eye. And quite a few bruises in areas he won't discuss."

"Your sources were correct," Harm had a big smile on her face.

"I've noticed something lately. Shun has been coming up with some pretty crazy ideas that have always ended in someone getting hurt. He seems so innocent."

Harmony looked up and smiled, "So did Resa when you first met her."

Eevee shivered, "remind me not to make him mad at me. I'm scared of what he'll do."

"Afraid of that karma thing?" Eevee nodded, "don't worry. Shun only does things like this for his own amusement, and for Peggi's amusement. Plus, Peggi holds secrets that he's scared she'll tell, and if he makes you mad, well, that would be reason enough to spill about everything."

"Amusement, huh? For being made angry?" Eevee thought about that for a few moments, "do you think he knows that Hyoga was the one who _really_ lost his video game and that it didn't just get misplaced?"

"Yes, I'm sure of it."

"Great. You're psychic, he's psychic. Soon I'll be the only one not able to know things! And knowledge is power!"

"Don't be silly, Eevee. Shun isn't _psychic_."

"Then how would he find out?"

"He was going to return the CD you let him borrow," Harmony pointed to the doorway.

Eevee turned around slowly, cringing, and saw Shun holding out a CD for her, but sighed when she noticed he was listening to something on Peggi's iPod, he was mouthing the words to it and everything. She mouthed the words 'thank you' to him and he smiled and nodded.

"Well, I'll catch you later!" Eevee waved to Harmony, glad that everything had worked out, Saori and Seiya were not too pleased, and Shun wouldn't plot against poor Hyoga.

Peggi sat on her bed, drawing things on her hand in permanent marker when the door opened.

"Hey, Shun. Is it on pause?" she wondered if he could hear her over whatever song he was listening to.

"Nah, it died a good while ago, I was just wearing the headphones because I was tired of hearing Saori complain to me as if we were friends, about how she can't believe she lost the bet. I have a quick question."

"Sure thing, angel, what's up?"

"I absolutely _love_ the smell of Hyoga's shampoo but there are _so _many bottles in the bathroom because we all use it, which brand is his again?"

"Um, Sunsilk I think, but you might want to ask him before you use it, he's the only one who uses it but it's expensive. I'll buy you some this weekend if you like it so much."

Shun smiled at her, "I'll try it first and if I like it then that would be great!"

Peggi smiled, knowing he was up to something, but not really caring what. She'd know soon enough. She always figured it out sooner or later. Besides, his little plots always gave her much amusement.


End file.
